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Date:2005-10-02 00:05

I figured it was time for my annual post. Hi to anyone who is reading. Too much has happened in the past year to really comment on in a few minutes, but I just wanted to wish everyone a happy fall! Maybe I'll get back in the habit of posting here. It was pretty theraputic in the past... Well goodbye for now!

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Date:2004-10-27 17:52
Subject:just popped in here to waste my time and to post something useless and stupid...
Mood: blah

Stolen from leadfill's journal. The bold lines are the things I've done before.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied *when I was 16 and had no bills*
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers *its not as kinky as it sounds it was a pre-surgery observation and I was standing nude in front of like 6 people in a hospital room. I had to turn at different angles while they made marks on me*
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater *when I was little, there was one nearby and I went with my parents*
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken *hey but lets not jinx it here...*
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman.
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch *I did today as a matter of fact*
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert" *well if you want to count overbrook highschool's morning news program, then yeah*
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one or both your parents *he was really cremated though*
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication *I had a poem published in Highlights magazine when I was 7 or 8*
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
142a. Had a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train *Hmm how would define sex?
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad *not cover to cover, but about 80% of it*
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read *Oscar Wilde
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them *Freshman year we'd steal that shit from the cafeteria and stock our rooms, since then I've stolen a cool glass from Friday's and a couple pint glasses from various bars*
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch *baking, cake decorating, and scrapbooking*
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions *its a little too early to skip them, but I will when they do come up*
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you *Freshman year of college I made this portrait of a woman washing her hair out of different colored beads glued onto a piece of cardboard and one of my dormmate's parents bought it from me for $30. I totally wished I'd kept it cuz it was pretty bad ass*
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

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Date:2004-08-11 17:38
Subject:brief update

I work at commerce bank and I like it better than serving

I "ran away" from home, if you can really run away at age 22, I guess maybe I just abandoned my mom, either way she deserved it

I now am staying with my boyfriend and his mom

I'm going to Orlando in 3 weeks with my boyfriend Rob, my friend Chris (who is my boyfriend's brother), and my friend Cody.

I'm still trudging through school at Temple. I'm determined to get my degree regardless of how long its going to take me.

I don't have access to a computer at my boyfriend's place, so my only chance to get online is at school, so forgive my lack of responses and updates here and my absence on AIM.

Oh and for those of you who don't have my new screen name its CarKiz12. I had to change it from TaffyNCK because when I quit AOL they wouldn't let me keep that SN on AIM because they're jerks.

Thats it for now. Love you all :)

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Date:2004-07-28 14:07

um, hi... remember me?

I haven't been on here in ages, I kinda forgot about this site completely. And I really don't have anything new to say... thats kinda sad.

But anyway, just wanted to say hello to anyone who still has me on their friends list.

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Date:2004-02-05 13:40
Mood: sick

Sooo... I have mono and strep both at the same time. Its like a party in my throat! Only its not a fun one... I'm going to be out of school and work for at least two weeks. Hopefully I won't go crazy.

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Date:2004-01-22 16:14
Subject:in case you were worried...

I'm still alive. I'm moving out of my house in philly and back in with my mom (or hell as I like to call it). My computer is still in philly so I won't be posting here or on AIM much until I bring it over to my mom's. (Right now I'm posting from a computer lab at school).

Thats all I feel like posting for now, I'll give a better update later.

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Date:2004-01-02 19:46
Subject:Not really, but ok...


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

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Date:2003-12-09 08:26
Mood: dirty

I haven't showered since Saturday. I'm afraid I will fall through the ceiling (think The Money Pit style) if I step foot in my shower here in philly. I'd rather have my stench follow me around (think Pigpen from Peanuts style) then take the chance of landing on the first floor, buck naked and wet. So I drive to NJ for showers about 3-4 times a week. Just thought I'd share = )

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Date:2003-12-07 23:47
Subject:Here's another one

First real kiss: Does real kiss mean a french kiss? If so that would be Joe Walmsley in 8th grade. He is as dorky as his name suggests.

First screen name: Abendigo, don't ask why

First self purchased album: Debbie Gibson, Electric Youth, I saved up my allowance to buy the tape and the fragrance from Jamesway.

First funeral: This lady from my chruch named Anne Marie Bullsa, I was maybe 8 or 9

First pet: a cat named pepper, she was actually my first word too, I called her "puh"

First piercing: ears when i was 12

First true love: drew

First big trip: probably florida visiting family

First musician you remember hearing in your house: Elvis, my mom played elvis when I was growing up like it was her ever-lovin job

Last big car ride: I can't remember the last time I went for a long car ride.

Last kiss: earlier today, around 1pm

Last good cry: I teared up a lot today for no good reason, last time I cried was probably last weekend

Last movie seen: Love, Actually earlier today

Last beverage drank: diet pepsi

Last food consumed: golden grahms

Last phone call: my mom

Last shoes worn: my sketchers brown boots

Last CD played: The Early November, can't remember name of album

last item bought: golden grahms ceral and milk

Last disappointment: when i came home and realized neither of my roommates were home, and hadn't been home all weekend

Last soda drank: diet pepsi

Last ice cream eaten: I haven't had ice cream in a while, it was probably at CBs the last time I had any

Last shirt worn: I'm wearing a white american eagle sweater right now

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Date:2003-12-05 21:26
Mood: annoyed

I'm home alone (with the exception of my highly annoying cat), snowed in, and bored out of my fucking mind. I really do not enjoy winter weather as much as I did when I was a child. Please someone put me out of my misery.

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Date:2003-12-03 04:41
Subject:I need feedback on the following poem as well...

Ok so, i wrote the following poem a while back...

Giving the Finger

She that could have been me
strides my way.
A supercilious sneer across her lips.
Steps of arrogance and inhalations of illusory power.
Lifting her left hand, she scratches a feigned itch on her forehead.
Purposely boasting a glinting platinum band
worn on the proper finger.
I flash a wickedly genuine smile;
delighted she enjoys my leftovers.

this semester, for an experiment in my poetry class I "translated" the poem into the following...

The girl that I might have possibly become
tramps in my direction.
A snooty snicker athwart her orifice.
Strides of superiority and pants of erroneous supremacy.
Elevating the arm that is not her right, she scrapes a contrived irritation upon her brow.
Deliberately swanking a lustrous silver ring
displayed on the appropriate appendage.
I flaunt an iniquitously sincere grin;
enchanted the girl takes pleasure in my snippets.

I liked that version as well so I came up with the following hybrid of the two...

She that could have been me
tramps my way.
A supercilious sneer athwart her lips.
Steps of superiority and inhalations of illusory supremacy.
Lifting her left hand, she scratches a contrived itch on her forehead.
Deliberately boasting a glinting platinum band
worn on the appropriate finger.
I flash a wickedly genuine grin;
delighted she enjoys my leftovers.

so here's my dillema, I have to put a collection of my work together for a chapbook to hand in for class... which version should I include??? Which do you, think is better?

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Date:2003-12-03 04:03
Subject:I just wrote this in like 2 minutes, and I think its pretty good for 4am

These wounds you gave me
They do hurt


I’ve been with someone
Whose knife was a little bit bigger
Whose stabs went a little bit deeper
Who brought me so much pleasure
In the pain that he gave to me
On a daily and nightly basis
Over and over
Stab after stab
Until finally, I just passed out from the
Sensation of the blade going in and out
In and out
Over and over

So if you want me
You’re going to have to try a little harder
Your knife might be smaller
But it’s not the size of the blade that matters
Its how you use it
So make me bleed baby
Make me bleed
If you hurt me bad enough
I just might keep you around

any ideas on what I should title it?
*as with most of my poetry, no one should take this to be a work of non-fiction... it was just an idea that popped in my head*

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Date:2003-12-02 10:40
Subject:Just in case you needed a reminder...
Mood: cheerful

9 days til the poconos and 10 days til my birthday! =)

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Date:2003-11-29 15:27
Subject:Back at the Bees

So, I got a job today. Applebees in Cherry Hill. I knew I could never escape that place. Its a good feeling to be hired on a spot, because you have a GOOD reputation as a server. And it wasn't a horrible place to work for. If things don't work out I could always start looking again. And besides its a brand new restaurant opening up so I'm going to have an edge over everyone else having worked there before. And another good thing is that they don't start training until Dec. 15, which will save me from having to request off for my vacation to the poconos, and have time to study for finals without needed to take days off.

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Date:2003-11-28 19:05
Subject:Well since I'm unemployed I have more times for surveys!!!

A is for - Age: 21, in 2 weeks make that 22
B is for - Beverage of choice: Non-alki = Snapple Apple/ Alki = 43 and Gingerale
C is for - Career in future: Creative Writing professor
D is for - Dad's name: Rudolph
E is for - Essential item to bring to a party: alcohol, although tonight I will be going to a party equipped with pecan pie
F is for - Favorite song at the moment: Take Me Away by Fefe Dobson, not really a great song but its been stuck in my head for 4 days straight, besides there's something refreshing about a black girl playing punk-like music
G is for - Guy/Girls you've kissed: too many
H is for - Hometown: Berlin Township, NJ
I is for - Instrument you play or have given up playing: Piano
J is for - Job title: UNEMPLOYED, have I mentioned I was fired??
K is for - Kids: I eat them for breakfast, oh no wait thats Kix
L is for - Living arrangement: basically I live in three different places... my house in philly, my mom's, and at my boyfriend's
M is for - Mom's name: Karen
N is for - Number of people you've slept with: a few
O is for - Overnight hospital stays: none for me, I've kept someone company in a hospital overnight
P is for - Phobia[s]: wasps, rats, mice, rodents in general really
Q is for - Quote you like: Life is about what you love, not who loves you
R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: 3 years 8 months
S is for - Sexual position: let me see if I can remember....
T is for - Time you wake up: usually around 9am no matter what day it is
U is for - Unique trait(s): I think I'm overly compassionate... no to the point that its a fault, but I definitely think I am more compassionate than others
V is for - Virgin: no thanks
W is for - Worst habit: I'm really messy and disorganized
X is for - X-rays you've had: for my back (scoliosis) and teeth, I can't really think of any others
Y is for - Yummy food you make: I make a mean pecan pie, and good cookies too.
Z is for - Zodiac sign: Vagi-tear-ius

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Date:2003-11-26 14:29
Mood:mad broke

I got fired yesterday for the first time ever. And after I confessed to doing wrong (thinking I'd get off with maybe just a suspension, seeing as I had a clean record up to that point), I found out that there was no proff against me, they were just going on gossip. Just goes to show there is no use in being honest when you're already in the wrong...

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Date:2003-11-24 12:32
Subject:I got my paper done ahead of schedule so now I have time to kill before class...

1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year.

A) Find a lawyer to help me claim bankruptcy for under $500, anybody know anyone???
B) Get A's on my finals (heh)
C) Be able to afford good xmas presents for those lucky enough to be the few I'm buying for
D) Clean my room and car and keep it that way.
E) Talk my sister into letting me have my piano back.

2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again.

A) My old best friend from junior high, Mandi Eichmann.
B) My childhood buddy, first kiss, and first boyfriend Bob Wahl (He has posted "anonymous" comments on my LJ in the past though).
C) Phaedra, who I miss very much, but can't seem to get the guts to IM even though I see her online every day. I really don't know why we lost touch, but she was such a cool ass person.
D) Brittany, we've played a competitive game of phone tag for the past 3 months but have yet to get the other on the phone.
E) For some reason I think about Chris McWilliams a lot and wonder what he's up to. I always had a crush on that boy.

3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do.

A) Play Guitar
B) Change my oil
C) Fix Stuff (like tvs, computers, etc.)
D) use a power drill
E) save money

4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit).

A) Buy my mom a condo and a new car
B) Pay off my current student loans and put away another 100,000 to pay for the rest of my education.
C) Invest some
D) Put away about 30,000 for a wedding
E) Pay off my car loan, and my 10,000 credit debt

5. List five things you do that help you relax.

A) Write
B) Bubble baths
C) Eat something sweet
D) Vent to my roommates
E) Masturbate, hey its a proven scientific fact that orgasms help ease stress. Don't knock it til you try it man.

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Date:2003-11-24 12:20

So for the first time in a year, I took my buddy list off of "friends only" mode. Meaning, that anyone who knows my screen name can see me online, not just those on my buddy list. And don't you know within the first hour after I did that, I got an IM from someone who used to harass me online, over a year ago mind you, saying "where the hell have you been, I thought you died, now I can go back to picturing your hot naked body." Ummm, yeah. And this morning, I got an IM from an 18 year old freshman at Rowan University who had a quote from the bible in his profile, asking me to "cyber." I mean really, who still uses the word "cyber" let alone actually does lame shit like that? So I'm thinking about switching back to hermit status...

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Date:2003-11-20 03:27
Subject:I want to be a macho man

My journal says I'm 51% masculine.
What does your LJ writing style say about your gender?
LJ Gender Tool by hutta

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Date:2003-11-18 01:09

Actor Jonathan Brandis, 27, who starred in the movie "The Year That Trembled," which was filmed in Ohio, was found dead in his Los Angeles apartment Wednesday. Brandis, 27, was found by friends and pronounced dead at a hospital, according to the Los Angeles coroner's office. There were no signs of violence. An autopsy was due to be performed yesterday, an investigator said. "The Year That Trembled," produced by Tyler Davidson and Scott Lax, who were living in the Cleveland area at the time, was filmed in Ohio and premiered at the Cleveland International Film Festival in 2002. Brandis played Casey Pedersen, a young man who is caught up in the turmoil of the Vietnam War. "It's a terrific tragedy, and our hearts go out to the family," said Davidson, who now lives in Los Angeles.

edit: After researching this (I stole it from xhyperboy) nothing turns up to prove this. I think it may have been a hoax, possibly started by JB to say "hey guys remember me, I was in Ladybugs"

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my journal